In my present state of unemployment and with not a lot of exciting things to do, a friend suggested I consider stand-up comedy.
WHICH IS ACTUALLY THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD
because no. I'd rather stick my head in an oven. I mean, a) not exactly what I'd call steady employment; and b) nobody likes female stand-up comedians. No really, they just don't. This isn't a battle I'm remotely invested enough in to fight myself. It's enough that I'm trying to fight for female writerdom, ferchrissakes; and c) it's one thing to be expected to produce interesting turns of phrase and compelling stories, and that's pressure, but to produce interesting turns of phrase and be consistently funny
is a special kind of hell. And Gosh forbid you should ever decide to produce something serious and meaningful: no matter how good it is, most people will expect funny from you, and the shock of serious will be enough to make them hate it. I couldn't live with that kind of garbage.
Same friend also suggested I consider starting a podcast. Which is great except that a) I don't listen to podcasts, so it'd be a touch hypocritical of me to do one of my own; and b) podcasts require that magical self-promotion touch which I already lack in all my other ventures, which is why I am such a raging failure at everything I do. Is it weird that I don't get podcasts? I made friends with someone who did a Doctor Who podcast with some people so I listened to it, and it was literally just three guys talking about Doctor Who. Something about my brain found it very frustrating to listen to, though it might just have not been a very good podcast. And also, my brain gives me a weird sense of terror when I look at certain kinds of maps.
What I really
need at this point is an agent. You know, someone who has a vested interest in my getting paid work because they get a cut every time I do. Leave the promotion to the expert and let me get on with dumb shit like writing short stories and making dumb paintings and reading dumb narrations. Also, I'm 1200 words into a story that's not about Doctor Who that Shearman might have innocently inspired with a tweet about what he was planning to do one day, which I mentioned to fellow writer Richard Dinnick at coffee this afternoon, who said it's a beautiful premise. The best feeling is when another writer thinks your writing sounds good. I love friends who write. It's just inspiring and awesome. So what are you guys writing, flist? Talk at Sami!
Speaking of writing, look what came out yesterday! It's that Doctor Who book full of wonderful things which has some things in it done by me!
Plus it's free to download, and proceeds from any sales go to Children In Need. Also, there's bits in it by me. As if you needed an incentive other than that to check it out.
In other news, still no sign of income, so if you know anybody who might be inclined to fancy, say, a custom wedding portrait, or that kind of thing, that's a kind of thing I can do for money. And when my cold dissipates, I'll be able to narrate again. Just putting that out there. *waggles eyebrows*( Have an art!Collapse )